Classy bathroom shot? Sure, why not.
In ninth grade, I was in art class when I saw my friend pull out some interesting pictures to use as reference. They were very beautiful people dressed in all black upon a red backdrop, staring at the camera vaguely. I was told that they were members of a Japanese visual rock band called Malice Mizer, and I was also told that the one I assumed to be a girl was in fact a guy. This really intrigued me, so I decided to look them up. The one who dressed in women's clothing, Mana, had his own clothing line of very elegant, yet frilled clothing. I came to find that this style was called "elegant gothic lolita" and was one of many variations of the Japanese street fashion called lolita.
I loved the style since then, though now my likes are more towards sweet and classic rather then gothic. In my first year of college I finally got my own lolita clothes. They were cheap, I didn't have a petticoat or proper accessories, and they didn't really suit me, but I was happy. Since then, and after many fashion mistakes, I feel I've grown in the style. I actually don't really consider myself to have been a lolita until the beginning of 2013. Before then, I was just slapping clothes together, but now I actually do try to put together a cohesive coordinate. I know I'm far from perfect, but that's besides the point.
My love for lolita has waxed and waned over the years. Sometimes I'll stalk the sale communities every day and think of when the next opportunity to get frilly is. Other times I'll pass by the pictures I see on my tumblr dashboard without giving them a thought. Right now? I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm trying to be an adult and control myself. Because when I get too into lolita, sometimes I end up spending money I don't have just yet x_x So I'm occasionally seeing what's for sale, but reminding myself I can always find it later and I don't need it right right now.
There's another reason I'm waiting to make any purchases besides the fact that I just spent the last of my paycheck. I am a bigger girl. Plus size, if you will. And lolita, being a Japanese fashion, does not always cater to girls and guys my size. There are many work-arounds to this, of course. You can always make your own clothes, but my skills are only sub-par. There are indie brands that make clothes in custom sizes, which is an option I look forward to exploring soon. Brand pieces could be altered, which I don't dare do myself, aside from the minor change. And then there are brands that have some pieces that will fit a wider variety of sizes.
But what about the pieces that aren't made for bigger sizes? My favorite brand, Angelic Pretty, has loads of cute dresses I want to wear - including my dream dress, Dream Doll - only fit a very small range of measurements. Well, it depends on what you yourself decide to do. Some buy replicas. Some just shrug and love the plus-size friendly pieces. And then others decide to change themselves.
Let me start by saying this - I'm not losing weight for the sole purpose of fitting into a certain style of clothing. I've had body image issues my whole life, but right now, I am the heaviest I have ever been. And I hate it. So, when you don't like something, you change it. I'm tired of hating my body and not fitting into my older clothing. I'm tired of feeling like I have no energy and tired of not being able to shop in some of my favorite stores.
I've been on and off a weight loss journey since mid-january, though unfortunately more off then on. As most people are, I was very motivated at first, but then that started to dwindle away. A few weeks ago I was back in a gym every day, but now I've started a new job and my gym buddy is busy on his final project, so the gym has been pushed to the back of our minds.
But now that I'm working at this new, physically demanding job and have a schedule again, I can start anew! Also my friend should be done with his final project soon, so we'll be able to go back to his gym again before too long. I'm very excited to see what changes my body undergoes. I'm excited to feel the highs of working out. And I'm excited to be able to fit not only my old clothing, but new clothing such as new lolita items!!
I will admit, it sometimes makes me sad that I cannot fit into certain items I love.
However, this is just me. If you're happy with the size you're at - don't change a thing! There are loads of other workarounds as I said if you're a bigger person, and even some if you're much smaller as well! This is just what I feel I want to do.
My next entry will probably be all about working out, websites and apps I find useful, and any tips and tricks for starting out! If you have anything you would like me to address, please just let me know! I know this entry was a little…pointless, ehehe, but fun to write nonetheless.
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