Today I am 26

Hello! It’s my birthday! We came back from our Disney World honeymoon yesterday and it was wonderful! …but I’m quite sick now, haha. I’ll definitely be vlogging about my trip and such later this week, but for now I’ll just be writing a bit about last year and what I would like for the future. 

When I turned 25, I said, “I have been alive for a quarter of a century and I want to really live my life now.” Or something to that effect. And now, my 25th year is through and I don’t have much to show for it. A little more then last year, but not that much progress, I guess. If you have read other entries in my blog, you might realize that in the past few years, this has become a common theme. I make plans and say I want to change myself, and then I don’t, and I feel sad.

I think I really haven’t known myself lately. I know me from the past, and I know the me I want to be, but I don’t focus on the me in the present at all. It’s always “what can I do to become X” or “how can I get back to Y.” I feel that I know who I am now, though. I am told I am impatient, that I worry too much, that I talk badly about myself too much, and I reply, “I know.” I undertand that I am depressed, that I am overweight, that I am not where I want to be. But I guess I kind of…look past it. There is a straight line between past me and the me I want to be, but when I put my current self into the equation, it gets messed up and I’m like, “what went wrong? how can I now get to where I want to be?” I don’t accept who I am now, I see it as something went wrong and it’s bad and now I need to fix it.

Of course, that’s not to say I shouldn’t want to change and improve. Even if I were living my “dream life” I would still want to better myself. But I shouldn’t see myself as I am now as “bad” or “wrong” just because I went off the path I vaguely had planned. I am here, and I have to accept that, and make a plan from where I am now, not from where I was. 

I am 26 now. I say this every birthday, but I want to make this year the best year of my life and make lots of steps towards something great. These are the things I would like to work towards this year:

HAPPINESS. Overall, this is most important. I feel like I have been a bit better with stopping negative self talk and removing myself from upsetting people or things, but of course I have a long way to go.

MONEY. We are moving in about a month to another apartment. We’re going to stay there for about a year, and while we’re there we’ll be saving for a house~! So I need to find a good job so I can save up! But, I also need to find a job with a schedule that will cooperate with…

CAREER. While I want comics to be the thing I do in life, I undertand that this could just be a hobby forever, and not a source of income, and that’s fine. But I’d like to have a specific field or specialty that I can work in for sure. When trying to figure out what to do in life, many people say you should look at what you wanted to be as a child. I wanted to be a Sailor Senshi, so tht doesn’t really work. But another thing was…something medical. Not a doctor or nurse, but something more behind the scenes. My parents have both worked in many medical settings, and when I was little my favorite thing was going to my mom’s work before school, where she worked as a pharmacy tech in a hospital. So, I’ve decided that’s what I would like to aim for! I’m not sure exactly when this will start, it depends on the school I’ll be getting my certificate from. But, I am excited!!

ART. I feel like lately I have been drawing more then I had been (which was very little), so I am happy. But I’m still not confident enough to post most of it online anymore, and I feel I’ve been very stagnant in my improvement. Lately I’ve been forcing myself to practice drawing things I wouldn’t normally draw or styles I don’t feel comfortable drawing in and I think it’s been helping! I’d love to keep it up!

HEALTH. I feel like now more then ever I am very ready to make changes and stick to them. This includes eating much better and controlling my portions, and being active much more often. This time around, I would like to enjoy the journey, instead of focusing on a goal I have not yet achieved.

DO MORE. I guess this is the “etc.” category. I would like to be more social, online and off. Do more vlogs and blogs. Watch more movies and shows. Play more games. And so on. I would like to feel like I have done things. 

And, I suppose that’s it! I’m sure I will think of more things, but these are what come to mind first. I can’t wait to see what this year of my life brings! 

I'm 25! This Year's Goals~

Hello! It's been a while, again, hasn't it? I really have no excuse, hehe... ^_^; This is going to be another more personal entry, too, instead of something more structured and professional. But those sorts of entries will be returning next week!

Today, I'll be talking about what my goals are for this year of my life and my plans for the near future!

Well, I dyed my hair! I know I said that I wasn't going to for a whole year but...that was a silly promise. My hair did grow out a bit longer in the few months I didn't do anything to my hair, but I love being colorful! That was my present to myself, along with some clothes I'll be hauling on my vlog soon!

A few days before my birthday, my parents took me and my fiance out to one of my favorite restaurants for dinner. They gave me my present, which was what I had asked for - clothes money! More clothes to haul in a future video! I also used a bit of it to buy a few bath bombs from Lush!

On my actual birthday, I didn't really do anything at all. I was going to hang out with her bestie, but she had important stuff going on, and my fiance had to work all day. But we at least got burgers :P

This is a cover from a sketchbook I'd like to either do a blog or vlog showing~

So, what did I wish for? To be happy. To change myself. I feel like the whole metamorphosis thing I've been posting about really does describe me better then I thought. When a caterpillar goes into its warm and safe cocoon, it turns into goo, pretty much. And that's how I feel. I am surrounded by love and safety, and I feel like weak, useless goo. But I have the potential to become a big, strong, beautiful butterfly. And I will.

I'm going to Colossalcon this week (which I'll talk about in a bit), but when I return, I'm going to go hard. Eating extremely healthy, working out almost every day. Not just where my health is concerned - I'll also be working hard on comics, prints, stickers, et cetera. And I'm going to do these things because they are good for me and they make me happy. 

As I said, I'll be attending Colossalcon this weekend! Not only is it the farthest I've gone for a convention, but it'll be the biggest one I've ever been to! I'll try to take lots of pictures!

After that, I'll be making some posts on here such as monthly favorites, a review of my friend's Etsy shop, and more! I hope you're looking forward to it!

24 Years Old! Birthday Haul!

I'm only more then a week late! Haha. I've been busy with cleaning and hanging out ._. Anyways. This is my birthday overview and a haul of what I got. As with all my hauls, I'm not bragging, I just like sharing what I got, and I like watching and reading other people's hauls!

So on my actual birthday, the 28th, I was off work! So I got to sleep in. I got all dressed up and waited...and waited..and eventually headed a few towns over with the fiance to the Cheesecake Factory to meet my parents for dinner! It was really nice, and I always enjoy seeing them, since I get homesick so easily, haha. And, cheesecake. Yum.

After that, my friend Chelsea picked me up and took me to Nashville, to Dave&Busters! For those of you who don't know what it is, it's like an arcade place, where you pay to play all sorts of games, and most of them give out tickets which you can exchange for prizes! Eventually our friend Megan joined us and we played for hours! It was great because I hadn't seen Megan in YEARS.

When it came time to exchange our tickets for prizes, I had quite a few, so I was able to get some nice things...

A cute Domo keychain which I attatched to my purse...

A Pikachu plushie which is GREAT for late night cuddles...

And then this journal! Which has not been written in at all yet.

And, of course, candy!! I got a lot of candy so the fiance could have some, too. Then my friends surprised me by using their tickets to buy me presents!

This cute purple, spiky bracelet and Hello Kitty earbuds!! Thank you~!

After that, Chelsea took me home, where my fiance and presents from my parents were waiting! My big present for the year is...

A red Keurig! Um, ignore the dirty pan x_x As you can see by the empty K-Cups, I've already used it quite a lot. They got me three different kinds of coffee and tea, and the Keurig came with samples...so I have lots of varieties. My favorites so far have been the iced coffees and teas! It's been very useful. Maybe a little too useful, haha.

There was also a plethora of hair and makeup goodies!! Yay! My favorite of these has been the Tarte lip color!

They got me this book, How to Be Like Walt, which is so far very interesting!!

They also got me my favorite peanut butter, because I have an addiction problem...heh.

I feel like I'm leaving something out, but...I don't know what...

And then on Saturday, I had another little party with friends! Two of my friends couldn't make it, but my good friends Erik and Ashley did, and they brought cake and chips and soda and etc! We went out for lunch, coffee, came back and watched the Power Rangers movie, talked lolita with Ashley (I can play dress up with her! I am in a happy place!) and then we just talked and watched other things.

Ashley gave me a really nice gift...

A Hello Kitty tin, four little Hello Kitties, a wallet, some tissues, and a bracelet I wear often! Oh, and CANDY!

All and all, I've had a great birthday and a great couple of days. As I said at the beginning, I'm doing some heavy duty cleaning...in order to renew our lease at the apartment, we have to do a walkthrough, and while I know our level of cleanliness and how much clothes are strewn on the floor probably isn't what they care about, the apartment does need a serious cleaning. Hopefully we can get that done before tomorrow. I just purchased Tomodachi Life, also, so hopefully I won't get too distracted...

And tomorrow is International Lolita day! I'm trying to get together with a few friends, but it may be just me dressing up alone, haha.