Let's Try This Fitness Thing Again//Two Year Life Plan

So back in December, I entered the world of fitness blogs on tumblr (fitblrs). I fell headfirst into pictures of slim and toned bodies, yummy meals, and self love. By January, I had started working out nearly daily and trying to fix my eating habits. But it only lasted for about a month; my motivation slowly dwindled, and eventually I stopped altogether and went back to my old ways. While I was working out, I had lost about fifteen pounds, but after stopping, I gained it all back, plus the occasional extra few pounds, depending on the day.

I've always had issues with my weight, even though looking back, I was perfectly fine when I was younger, just not thin. I've never been thin. I got made fun of in elementary school, but I didn't think much of it. I was always aware I had extra weight. But it wasn't until a car trip where I was stuffing myself with candy where I looked down at my thighs when I thought to myself "Oh...I'm fat, aren't I?" Of course, I didn't do anything to remedy my problem, only covered myself up more. I remember in high school hating my body, but what I wouldn't give to be that size again.

In the past few years, these issues with my weight and my relationship with food has gotten worse. I've gained a lot of weight due to stress, depression, and an unhealthy relationship with food. Food has always been a comfort thing, or a boredom thing, and living on my own in a dorm only reinforced bad eating habits. I had my periods where I would try to eat healthier or exercise a bit, but I never really committed to anything.

In January, I felt like I was committed to finally changing my life, and I was, but...I don't know, I had the motivation, but not the drive to stay constant. Of course, I was upset about it, but I was getting more and more depressed, so half of me didn't really care. The other half of me was trying to accept myself as I was. I still am. I think everyone should love themselves just as they are. But I also believe that if you're unhappy, make a change, and I am unhappy. I am not the shape I want to be. I am not at the size I want to be. I can't fit into the clothes I want. I am uncomfortable in my body. But more importantly, I'm not healthy the way I am. I eat poorly. I sleep poorly. I don't get enough exercise. I'm not strong. I am not the me I want to be. I want to be a smaller, stronger me. For no one else but me.

I don't know if this time will be "the time." I don't know if I will get to my goal weight. I don't even know what my goal weight is. But I'm going to try. I've been really depressed lately, and feeling like I can't do anything. I haven't been motivated to do anything at all. But I want to do something. I want to achieve something. I don't want to be unhappy with myself anymore. I have to change the way I think - where I feel like everything that isn't a major success is a failure. I have to change my eating habits. I have to change how very impatient I am. I have to change how I plan and organize my life (life planning is nonexistent at the moment).

While I am in this period of not doing much, little things are a success. One of these successes was writing out a life plan of sorts in my fancy purple paper notebook. I'm going to constantly be adding little goals to it and taping it to my wall right behind where my computer is so I can always see it and be motivated. This is a list of goals from now, July 2014, until sometime in 2016.

Work on comics

Get comics out there

Get commissioned

Sell art at MTAC 2015

Go to AWA 2014

Cosplay at Colossalcon 2015

Lose weight

Get strong

Live healthy

Do more art

Get a new job

Always have money

Go back to school

Become comfortable driving

Record an UTAU voicebank

Keep up with penpals

Maintain cleanliness

Plan things out

Get things done on time

Get over fear of failure

I am really excited for the changes I am going to enact. I know they will take time and won't be easy. But I'm going to try. I'm going to try as hard as I can. I'm tired of being complacent, lazy, and not the Bunny I want to be. 

Watch me grow. Watch me turn into a magical girl who can do anything. Watch me become strong, lean, and healthy. 

June 2014 Favorites!!

June went by super quickly for me. And you know, not a lot got done either. Kind of a blah month, to be honest. But in June, the fiance and I purchased lots of games and I did lots of thinking and sketching, so there's that. Here's hoping July will be a better month! I'm going to start working out again, so that will be fun.

Also, this isn't the official post about it, but I just hit 575 (well, 576) followers on my tumblr, melty-bunny! It's not a lot compared to others, but it's a lot to me, and 575 just happens to be my favorite number. So, I'm going to be hosting a giveaway!! It's not up yet, so I can't say exactly what's going to be in it, but it's going to be a lot of things that are special to me, or that I think are cool. I can already tell you Sailor Moon, Pokemon, and lolita fashion are going to be involved, so stay tuned ^_^ GIVEAWAY CAN BE FOUND HERE

Random OOTD from today? Okay. Also, before we get started, let me tell you about my hair trauma (because I don't want to dedicate a whole entry to it). I wanted the blue and pink out of my hair and wanted just a nice, normal lighter brown in my hair...and it was an ordeal. First I used a color stripper/remover product to remove the colors...but it barely worked. Then I thought, maybe the dye could cover it up anyways and it would just be darker. Nope. It looked really ugly. So I had to go out and get bleach, let it sit on as long as possible without my hair falling off and it almost got all the color out. Tried dying it again and it's...well, the parts that were pink are a cute color, but the parts that were blue is kind of a dull ashy color, plus that area got really destroyed by the bleach, so it's all frizzy and gross. But, I'm done messing with it for now. If I do anything with it, I'll dye it a little darker brown. No more bleaching or weird colors for me for a while. And definitely no cutting it. I want it to at least be at my shoulders, if not longer.

ANYWAY, onto my monthly favorites~

Let's start with my only beauty product for the month - Tarte's Lipsurgence in what I think is the shade Lust. I got a mini of these in a set my parents I got for my birthday (which is why I don't know the shade; it doesn't say on the packaging). I haven't worn much makeup at all or dressed up often in June because it's so hot. But this is a great product to just throw on alone or paired with other products, and it looks great and stays on long. I first learned about the brand Tarte through grav3yardgirl's videos, and had never really tried anything by them before. This product is very smooth and doesn't dry your lips out like a lot of other lip tints do. You can find this product at Tarte's website, Sephora, and Ulta for a little over $20.

I guess I do have another beauty favorite, sort of. This isn't so much a favorite yet as I know it will be in the future. I briefly mentioned Taobao in my post about plus size lolita fashion; it's a Chinese website that hosts thousands and thousands of stores that sell everything from clothing to furniture to electronics, kind of like Amazon. I had said in that post that Taobao slightly intimidated me and I had never ordered from them yet, as you need a shopping service to do so. But recently I've just spent literally days browsing shop after shop, searching for something and finding so much of it. Street fashion? Anime paraphernalia? Plus size clothing options? Makeup? They have everything I could want and more. And everything is SO AFFORDABLE. It looks a little intimidating, because everything is in yuan...but 400 yuan? That's a little over 60 US dollars. Yeah. And I have to look hard to find something that I would want to buy that is that expensive, anyways. It's the shipping and shopping service fees that are what drive the price up. I haven't ordered anything from Taobao yet, but I have a few hundred bookmarks dedicated to things I'd like to purchase. I want to solely order all my clothes and gifts and plushes from there from now on!! Next time I have some money to spare, I'm definitely placing an order. Expect a haul soonish!

Next is something else that I received for my birthday, this little red Keurig! Doesn't it look so retro? Anyone who knows me knows I have a serious coffee and tea addiction and love going out to Starbucks. This severely cuts down on those Starbucks trips, as I can have creamy iced coffee or a flavored iced tea any time I want! So far my favorite flavors have been Donut Shop's original iced coffee and the raspberry iced tea by...snapple, I think? But there are so many other flavors to try! I have to be good and not drink four cups of coffee in one day, hahaha. This Keurig is a lesson in moderation, heh.

I mentioned these stickers in an older post where I talked about things I wanted to purchase in the near future. And I did! These stickers are the creation of artist Kaiami. All together, plus shipping, they only cost $17. I have them on everything, pretty much. They are so much cuter in person!! And, um, through a shipping error I happen to have two sets of each, and she told me just to keep the extras! How nice!! The extra sheets are taped to my wall currently, but maybe I should include them in my tumblr giveaway, hmm?

I have a notebook and sketchbook fetish. There, I said it. It's a problem. I see a cute blank book, I get attached, then suddenly I end up with a whole shelf full of half-used journals and sketchbooks. Anyway, this cute sketchbook is a Barnes and Noble exclusive I bought during a trip to the Vanderbilt store, and it was pretty cheap too. The best part? All the pages are perforated! Also, this sketchbook has been covered in stickers.

I made a whole post about Vocaloid. It's no surprise I would purchase a new Project Diva game. Hatsune Miku Project Diva F is the first Project Diva game to appear on the PS3. It's loads of fun, but it does have a few flaws. I've been meaning to write a whole review of the game, but I've never really done a review on a video game before, so it's a bit intimidating to do so. But, hopefully this month I will. As always, there are tons of fun songs and loads of modules, room pieces, and other things to unlock. I've pretty much been addicted to this the first half of June.

Mario Kart 8 is a video game both me and my fiance can enjoy! We've been playing it pretty regularly, but there's still a few things we have left to unlock. I am pretty much in love. It's so gorgeous! The graphics are just so clear and that sort of cartoony-realistic that make you want to jump in! The characters handle great and I love all the new additions they added in. I might do a review of this, but I think everyone's beaten me to it, hah. Of course my main character to race as is Princess Daisy on her fast little bike. I'm actually pretty good at racing games!

This is the last video game this month, promise! Tomodachi Life is either a great or boring game, it all really depends on you. I am definitely going to do a long review of this game. I downloaded it launch day and it hasn't gotten boring or old yet. Tomodachi Life is kind of hard to describe...it's sort of like Animal Crossing, sort of like The Sims, and sort of like the popular app, Line Play. Except, with your Miis. You insert your own Mii and any other Mii your imagination can create into an apartment and see what they get up to. You can change their rooms and clothes, but what they do and where they go are pretty much up to them. If this game sounds unappealing, I wouldn't spend the money to try it out, but if it sounds cute or interesting, definitely give it a go!

Okay, technically this isn't a video game, so I didn't lie! It's an app! Line Play, made by the same people who made the popular Line messaging program and Line camera, is a cute little program where you dress up your character, change their room, and interact with others (except if you're me, then you only do the first two). You can socialize and visit strangers, friends, or even licensed characters such as Hello Kitty, Marie Antoinette from the classic anime Rose of Versailles,  and a bar keep from Dragon Quest. It's pretty cute and a fun way to waste a little bit of time. Line Play is free, but of course you can purchase more hearts to give people or more gems to buy clothes and furnishings. I haven't (and probably won't) used real-people money in this app, but the prices are pretty reasonable.

Okay, technically Tomodachi Life was still the last video game, this is just a gaming apparatus, haha! This is my new baby, a blue (and now stickered) 3DS XL in blue. Honestly  I wanted a pink one, but I got this used, so I didn't get much choice. I also got this for free by trading in some old gaming things I didn't use anymore, so that's pretty cool, because the first store I went to to trade in stuff said I'd still have to pay like...more then $70. Free is better. The store owner transferred all my data over for free, so it's like my old 3DS is living in a bigger body. I looove the bigger screens. It's so nice and immersing.

My second to last favorite is a Korilakkuma phone case for my iPhone 5C. I'm going to go ahead and say that I'm very sure this isn't a licensed product. I got it off Amazon for about one dollar with five dollars shipping. It was supposed to arrive this month, actually, but it came within two weeks! It fits perfectly and isn't in any way cumbersome. My phone was cute before but now it's even cuter!!

My last favorite...maybe shouldn't be in my favorites because I haven't watched or read too much of it yet. But Ai no Exorcist/Blue Exorcist is in my favorites because I had avoided it for too long, never liked what I saw and hated its fans...and then I watched a few episodes and was hooked. Family, religion, and demons? Awesome. I will definitely be watching more, and I recommend it!

I had a lot of favorites, even though it was such a boring month! Hopefully next month has a lot of favorites as well. What were some of your favorite things this month?

As for upcoming posts...I'm going to try and actually dress like a normal human, so maybe a few OOTDs, some game reviews, summer anime first impressions, a link to the upcoming tumblr giveaway, aaand...who knows what else~