Saturday, May 28, 2016

Today I am 26

Hello! It’s my birthday! We came back from our Disney World honeymoon yesterday and it was wonderful! …but I’m quite sick now, haha. I’ll definitely be vlogging about my trip and such later this week, but for now I’ll just be writing a bit about last year and what I would like for the future. 

When I turned 25, I said, “I have been alive for a quarter of a century and I want to really live my life now.” Or something to that effect. And now, my 25th year is through and I don’t have much to show for it. A little more then last year, but not that much progress, I guess. If you have read other entries in my blog, you might realize that in the past few years, this has become a common theme. I make plans and say I want to change myself, and then I don’t, and I feel sad.

I think I really haven’t known myself lately. I know me from the past, and I know the me I want to be, but I don’t focus on the me in the present at all. It’s always “what can I do to become X” or “how can I get back to Y.” I feel that I know who I am now, though. I am told I am impatient, that I worry too much, that I talk badly about myself too much, and I reply, “I know.” I undertand that I am depressed, that I am overweight, that I am not where I want to be. But I guess I kind of…look past it. There is a straight line between past me and the me I want to be, but when I put my current self into the equation, it gets messed up and I’m like, “what went wrong? how can I now get to where I want to be?” I don’t accept who I am now, I see it as something went wrong and it’s bad and now I need to fix it.

Of course, that’s not to say I shouldn’t want to change and improve. Even if I were living my “dream life” I would still want to better myself. But I shouldn’t see myself as I am now as “bad” or “wrong” just because I went off the path I vaguely had planned. I am here, and I have to accept that, and make a plan from where I am now, not from where I was. 

I am 26 now. I say this every birthday, but I want to make this year the best year of my life and make lots of steps towards something great. These are the things I would like to work towards this year:

HAPPINESS. Overall, this is most important. I feel like I have been a bit better with stopping negative self talk and removing myself from upsetting people or things, but of course I have a long way to go.

MONEY. We are moving in about a month to another apartment. We’re going to stay there for about a year, and while we’re there we’ll be saving for a house~! So I need to find a good job so I can save up! But, I also need to find a job with a schedule that will cooperate with…

CAREER. While I want comics to be the thing I do in life, I undertand that this could just be a hobby forever, and not a source of income, and that’s fine. But I’d like to have a specific field or specialty that I can work in for sure. When trying to figure out what to do in life, many people say you should look at what you wanted to be as a child. I wanted to be a Sailor Senshi, so tht doesn’t really work. But another thing was…something medical. Not a doctor or nurse, but something more behind the scenes. My parents have both worked in many medical settings, and when I was little my favorite thing was going to my mom’s work before school, where she worked as a pharmacy tech in a hospital. So, I’ve decided that’s what I would like to aim for! I’m not sure exactly when this will start, it depends on the school I’ll be getting my certificate from. But, I am excited!!

ART. I feel like lately I have been drawing more then I had been (which was very little), so I am happy. But I’m still not confident enough to post most of it online anymore, and I feel I’ve been very stagnant in my improvement. Lately I’ve been forcing myself to practice drawing things I wouldn’t normally draw or styles I don’t feel comfortable drawing in and I think it’s been helping! I’d love to keep it up!

HEALTH. I feel like now more then ever I am very ready to make changes and stick to them. This includes eating much better and controlling my portions, and being active much more often. This time around, I would like to enjoy the journey, instead of focusing on a goal I have not yet achieved.

DO MORE. I guess this is the “etc.” category. I would like to be more social, online and off. Do more vlogs and blogs. Watch more movies and shows. Play more games. And so on. I would like to feel like I have done things. 

And, I suppose that’s it! I’m sure I will think of more things, but these are what come to mind first. I can’t wait to see what this year of my life brings! 

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

May Updates!

We took a walk the other day~

Hey! Hi! Hello! Let’s try this blogging thing again-again! I guess instead of a long written out thing I just have some bullet points for now.

I have been married for over a month now. Um…nothing new to report there, I guess! Our wedding and reception were very nice and fun! But aside from that, nothing has really changed since we had already been living together, haha. But of course, we are happy.

We also went to our local Jazz Fest!

In a week, we are going on our honeymoon to Walt Disney World! I love Disney World so much but I guess I don’t show it very often, or I don’t really have the chance to. This is the first time I’ll be on a plane without my parents, and the first time my husband and I will be on a trip alone (well, as alone as one can get at Disney). Surprisingly, this makes me feel more like an adult then paying taxes or anything like that.

After we get back, I turn 26! Ah! 26 sounds older. Not older like, you know….older…but, older as in, definitely not a teen or young adult. Just adult. Since my birthday is literally right after we get back, I don’t have any plans aside from eating with my dad. But that’s nice too!

An adult.

A bit after that, we are moving. The apartment complex we live at now was wonderful at first, but now they don’t care about the people who live here at all. I cannot rant about how frustrating this is enough, so expect a blog or video about this in a month or so, haha. We’re not moving anywhere special, just another apartment. But we’re planning to only stay there a year, and while we are staying there we will be saving up money so we can move into an actual house~!

And that is what I have in my future for the next few months. I have some bigger goals I would like to dive into in this year, but I need to figure out the steps I need to take to get there. I’ll probably talk about these in one of the next upcoming posts. 

Until then, here is a vlog I made recently about my favorite things in the month of April!

Have a nice day~!