Tuesday, December 30, 2014

The Metamorphosis of Melty Bunny

Pictured here, the wild Melty Bunny is going through an identity crisis and wears the skin of a fictional creature.

2014 is almost over and I'm trying to sum it up. It wasn't that it was a bad year, but it wasn't the best year, either. In fact, I'm thinking back at what I've done this year and...wait, what have I done?

I feel like I've wasted an entire year of my life. While that's not all true, I feel that I could have created some opportunities for myself. I don't think I could be in a whole different place then I am now, but I think I could have done a bit better.

I suppose I should focus on the positives of this year as well, but I shouldn't just ignore the bad or not so good things, as they are learning experiences. I'll start with the bad, to get them out of the way first.

  • I haven't held onto a job for very long. I was not fired from any job, however. Medical and personal issues were to blame. I also really want to work for a small company, now.
  • Because of the above, money saving of any sort did not really happen as I planned.
  • I've been having really bad pains for the last two months or so and I've been sick for about three weeks :x
  • For a lot of the year, my depression was really bad. I'll leave it at that.
  • I put on a bit more weight.
  • I haven't drawn, written, vlogged, crafted, et cetera nearly as much as I should have.
  • I haven't made necessary preparations for certain opportunities to happen (such as selling art at a local convention...there's always next time...)
  • My "to watch" and "to read" lists are bigger then ever :x
  • I have realized that for some reason, I am fixated on the thought of failure. I am afraid of failure and I view everything I do that isn't an instant success as a failure. I have no idea where this came from, but it's really holding me back and needs to change.
  • I wanted to clean more :x
  • I am sometimes much too obsessed with the past.
  • I am lazy and don't take initiative that often. 
But for all the negatives, there are a lot of positives~
  • Got Horus the cat!
  • I am still alive :)
  • I have become more okay with my body.
  • Became very close friends with Ashley.
  • Stopped talking to someone who was probably the worst to have ever entered my life.
  •  Even though I gained weight, I had times where I was really excited about getting healthy and fit, which will help me in the coming year.
  • I feel more creative.
  • Started a Patreon.
  • While I panic sometimes, other times I have obtained a very "it's whatever" attitude. (I look around the bedoom at my fiance's clothes all over and think "it's whatever, it'll get cleaned but I don't have to stress over it")
  • Did more of that dressing however I like thing.
Like always, I have high hopes for the new year, and plans that will hopefully be executed. But I'm also going to try not to focus so much on "it's been x days since the new year started and I haven't done y!" or anything like that. I'm also not going to beat myself up if something becomes unable to be completed. But! My goals for 2015 are as follows:
  • Join Weight Watchers and lose as much as I can in a healthy way, whilst gaining strength and a better understanding of my body.
  • Do art! Always! Get it out there!
  • Start a gaming channel
  • Update said channel often, as well as normal vlogging channel and this blog.
  • Cook more.
  • Try to keep the apartment clean
  • Reorganize the apartment
  • Be happier! 
  • DO MORE.
I hope you all enter the new year happily and safely :3