The Past Month - Colossalcon and Such

I started my last post with pictures of my plushies, didn't I? Oops! Plushies are cute and the pink one relates to this post very slightly, anyways.

So, I haven't written here in a month, and I'll get to that in a bit. Excuses, excuses. I also have to talk about my first ever Colossalcon!

It was definitely the most fun I've had at a convention in...ages. I don't know how long since I've enjoyed myself at a convention that much. It helped that I was with good friends and the con was executed very very nicely, but it probably didn't hurt that I only knew three other people besides the group I was with!

Colossalcon is held at a convention center that has a joined hotel that has a huge waterpark in it! I can't swim, so I've never really been to a waterpark. I was a bit scared by the irrational thought of drowning or getting water in my eyes (okay, the latter was not so irrational), but I went and...really loved it! I also feel like I got over another fear by going in front of all those people in a swimsuit, haha. I didn't do too much the few times I was there; I wasn't brave enough to go down any waterslide. But I did go down the lazy river and really loved the wave pool. 

As for the actual convention, it was great as well! It was really spread out in the convention center, which meant it was never too crowded in the halls. I didn't go to too many panels for one reason or another, but the ones I went to were nice, and there were a lot I did want to go to, or thought they looked really cool or fresh. 

I guess my only complaint about the convention was how small the artist alley was. The artists they did have were all great, and I'll post a picture of what I got below, but there weren't very many. The dealer room was very great and well organized, but they didn't really have a video game booth.

At the dealer room, I got (because I don't have a picture) a Gokai Pink little blindbox, a Battle Japan Gokai Key, a really inexpensive Idolm@ster shirt, and got my pink squeaky sheepy in an Amiibo trade! I didn't buy too much in the actual dealer room because I didn't have too much money to spare and I wanted more handmade things from the artist alley instead. I did almost blow $40 on a Decade figure, but it wasn't the basic Figuarts, it was something more advanced. They also had a Riderman Figuarts, but he was expensive, too. I think I do want to start getting figures again though. 

From the artist alley, I got two doujins, some stickers, a JoJo pin, a Sailor Moon zine, a Chibi Moon print for my friend, some Kamen Rider pins and print, and a small Pokemon bath bomb that had a Squirtle charm in the middle!

Unfortunately, my allergies started acting up really early on in the con, and because someone we were driving had gotten sick, me and my fiance got sick as well, me more then him. I'm all better now, but it was pretty bad.

Lately, I've been occupying my time with Splatoon! I wasn't too sure of it when it was first announced, and then seeing my fiance play it so much got me obsessed! I've been drawing squidkids nonstop, they're so cute!! Callie and Marie are the cutest, and so are Annie and Spyke, and just all the squidkids in general... oh yes, the game itself is very fun, too! I'm actually okay at it, with the roller anyways.

I also broke my promise and dyed my hair! I don't really regret it, and it looks pretty cool, I think.

So since I've gotten back, I haven't been too well. My depression and anxiety have been really loud in my head and I felt like I haven't really been able to do much. I'm trying to work through it the best I can, which is going so so. I think I'm going to start searching for another therapist. I think talking to someone who's not in my life and who has a more clinical perspective might be helpful; it was in the past.

I'm trying to accept my limitations, and accept who I am now, the latter of which is proving to be very hard. As always, I struggle with my weight, and I am working to change it, but I want to accept me now as well. I have to accept this is my body now and yes, it can be changed, but this is who I am now. I need to get over the fact that certain things cause me to panic and that is okay and my feelings are valid. And I need to find something that will calm me down when I do freak out.

But, I am feeling better then I have been in a while, so I feel like I can do some things again. Cleaning the apartment really, really helped, because my mind feels more clear, now. No promises, but I am going to aim to post one blog post and one video a week! Wish me luck!

I hope you guys are having a good start to your week~!

I'm 25! This Year's Goals~

Hello! It's been a while, again, hasn't it? I really have no excuse, hehe... ^_^; This is going to be another more personal entry, too, instead of something more structured and professional. But those sorts of entries will be returning next week!

Today, I'll be talking about what my goals are for this year of my life and my plans for the near future!

Well, I dyed my hair! I know I said that I wasn't going to for a whole year but...that was a silly promise. My hair did grow out a bit longer in the few months I didn't do anything to my hair, but I love being colorful! That was my present to myself, along with some clothes I'll be hauling on my vlog soon!

A few days before my birthday, my parents took me and my fiance out to one of my favorite restaurants for dinner. They gave me my present, which was what I had asked for - clothes money! More clothes to haul in a future video! I also used a bit of it to buy a few bath bombs from Lush!

On my actual birthday, I didn't really do anything at all. I was going to hang out with her bestie, but she had important stuff going on, and my fiance had to work all day. But we at least got burgers :P

This is a cover from a sketchbook I'd like to either do a blog or vlog showing~

So, what did I wish for? To be happy. To change myself. I feel like the whole metamorphosis thing I've been posting about really does describe me better then I thought. When a caterpillar goes into its warm and safe cocoon, it turns into goo, pretty much. And that's how I feel. I am surrounded by love and safety, and I feel like weak, useless goo. But I have the potential to become a big, strong, beautiful butterfly. And I will.

I'm going to Colossalcon this week (which I'll talk about in a bit), but when I return, I'm going to go hard. Eating extremely healthy, working out almost every day. Not just where my health is concerned - I'll also be working hard on comics, prints, stickers, et cetera. And I'm going to do these things because they are good for me and they make me happy. 

As I said, I'll be attending Colossalcon this weekend! Not only is it the farthest I've gone for a convention, but it'll be the biggest one I've ever been to! I'll try to take lots of pictures!

After that, I'll be making some posts on here such as monthly favorites, a review of my friend's Etsy shop, and more! I hope you're looking forward to it!

New Favorite Video Game + New Job

I haven't written in a bit, but I've been busy! At least, the past few days I have been!

My birthday is coming up on the 28th! And then not even a week after that, my fiance, some friends, and myself will be off to Ohio for Colosalcon! It'll be the first time any of us have ever been, and it's the biggest convention I'll have ever been to!

I'm not sure how much stuff I'll be able to buy, however, because I have quite a few new penpals and package buddies! But I enjoy giving gifts to friends. Of course, most, if not all, of my leftover money will probably be spent in Colosalcon's Artist Alley!

Lately I've been obsessing over a new (to me) game - Harvest Moon GBC! I've always wanted to get i to the Harvest Moon games and tried with many different versions, but always found them really boring. But the other day, I just really really wanted to play one and truly get into it. So, I restarted the GBC game I had bought in the eshop ages ago...and finally, something clicked, and I'm really into it! However, with this game, you can't really interact with anyone but the shopkeepers and there's not really anything to do besides the main task of taking care of the farm. I'd like to play a newer version where you can do more, so my friends said she'd lend me A New Beginning! I can't wait!

Lastly, I have a new job! I'm working retail again, which is okay. It's just a lot to get used to at once! The registers are so much different then the previous place I worked at, as is the clientele. 

Because of this, I haven't really had time to do much for myself and I haven't really felt like myself. I was even supposed to be off today but had to go in! Hopefully I can pick myself up and do some things for myself soon.

I hope you all are having a good day~

Current Angelic Pretty Wants!

So as I've mentioned before, I constantly am torn back and forth between loving lolita fashion and wanting every opportunity to dress up and frills and buy new pieces, and feeling like it might be time for me to give up on it. Luckily now, I'm in a loving mood!

Angelic Pretty is my favorite brand, and lately they've been putting out some great pieces! So this entry is essentially going to be me blathering about what I'm saving for now and hope to get! Oh! And I have a new job! So I actually can save while still helping to pay bills and such! Yay!

They've opened preorders for a new series called Melty Berry Princess that's going to come out in October that will hopefully still be around to buy in a little bit! I've fallen in love with it! Berries are so, so cute to me, and this print is just so nice and summery! The first piece I'd really like to get is the onepiece in white!

This dress just looks like a giant cake to me, it's so adorable! I'm a big fan of when the dresses have either the print or brand name on them. I'm really wanting to get a lot of lighter-colored dresses in the future, and I think this would be perfect! And - this dress would fit me with room to spare! I like the red colorway as well, the pink not so much. 

I'm also really wanting the JSK from this series as well! And it would fit me as well, bonus! Instead of the same color, however, I think the red, more busy print looks better on the JSK. It looks so adorable I can't get over it! And here's some detail shots...

The buttons are clear little flowers!

The lace looks like typical AP lace - very detailed and amazing! The white contrast goes nicely with the red of the print.

Of course, I want the matching accessories! The OTKs (which sadly won't be OTKs on me, haha) would look great in white with either dress, I feel...or maybe I'd cave and buy both red and white. For the headbow, I think red would work great with either the red or white dress colorway!

 The Double Ribbon Shirring blouse in Ivory is also up on the website (for how long who knows) and not only would this blouse fit me, but it would go well with the JSK, and be a good staple piece for my lolita wardrobe! The sleeves are detachable at the upper arm, so it can be either a short or long sleeve blouse, which is perfect because more often then not I'm warm while wearing lolita.

My last want from Angelic Pretty is this adorable bag in lavender with daisy-like flowers all over it! There was a red version of the bag that would go well with the dresses, but it dosen't seem to be available on the site anymore. I'd honestly want this bag just for every day use!

I don't have any money to spare right now so I'm going to TRY and be good and not look at any sales comms, but I can't wait to see how my lolita wardrobe will grow~!

What pieces are you hoping to buy?

Love Yourself NOW! + OOTD

So if you've read some of my past entries, you know that I've struggled with loving myself, my body, and just general self positivity. I knew I wanted to lose weight, and I knew I would be happier at a smaller size, but I didn't want to wait until I was at that smaller size to start loving myself! That's no way to live. I've struggled and tried to like my body, and suddenly, today...I did.

This is me, a size 18, with a tummy, wearing a crop top and high waisted skirt. This is me holding up my arm, which is not thin. This is me showing skin. This is me, with all my faults and flaws...actually thinking that I am still cute.

I don't know why it started, honestly. There was no distinct trigger that set these feelings in motion. This morning I just woke up, put on what you see, and I, for the first time in maybe EVER, felt 100% comfortable in my skin. I still want to lose weight and get in shape, of course. But now, in my "before" state, I like my body. Wow.

I may not be plus size forever. I don't intend to be. But while I am, I hope to use my confidence and such to help others feel the same way I feel. Whether you're 90 lbs or 500 lbs, you deserve to LOVE YOURSELF!

Unfortunately, I can't give too many too many tips on how to love yourself, seeing as it just seemingly suddenly happened to me. Care for yourself. Put on the lotions, the balms, the serums. Make your baths extra long and add in some nice scented candles. Look at yourself and know that this you is the only you that you have. It's okay to change your body, but your body now is still yours.

If you ever need to talk, I am here~ I hope that you're having a wonderful day and you have love for yourself!!

My Week + April Favorites Video!!

Shot from an OOTD video I filmed~

So I decided to do kind of an Instagram roundup/my week type post! I'm also trying to find the balance between making blog and vlog posts. It seems like when I make lots of one, I neglect making any of the other. I'm going to try getting myself on an actual schedule for making blog posts and videos. For now, I'm going to get back into the blogging swing of things with a simple post, but my next post is going to be my internet purchases post!

Here's a preview of said post - my amazing smiley bag from Aliexpress! I can't wait to take lots of pictures of it and talk all about how amazing it is!!

So this week I've had lots and lots and lots of migraines, practically back to back. I think it's just seasonal allergy type migraines, but I've never experienced this before. However, I've wanted to get dressed up and film a lot this week, so I have! My bestie bought a few things for me, and I wanted to show them off! Also, I've loved playing with my hair; it's finally at the length where I can DO things with it again! 

As I said, I want to find a balance between blogging and vlogging, but I'm really, really into vlogging right now. I don't know why, I've just been having so much fun and getting some very nice comments, and I've also been finding some really nice people to follow (mostly plus size vloggers)!

When I haven't been vlogging or laying down trying to alleviate my headaches, I've been playing loads of Animal Crossing New Leaf! I've been earning loads and loads of bells to get Gracie's Princess series of furniture, as well as her nice clothing items! When I'm not playing Animal Crossing, I'm also playing Pokemon Rumble and Pokemon Shuffle! 

I've also discovered how amazing Tsum Tsum is - both the actual plushies and the app! I love playing the game so much, it's much too addicting, and it's only making me realize how cute everyone is and I want to buy them all! 

I guess mostly, though, I've been just trying to unwind and hope that I feel better. I have a lot of things I want/need to get to and not being able to look at light/stand noises isn't very productive. I feel like I'm being lazy! I took a long bath with a candle and bath fizzy the other night to try and feel better and I think it really helped! I did have to skip out on something today because of the migraines, but I feel like they're coming less frequently.

And today, I also felt just really...body lovin'. Like, I actually LIKED my body. I've always had problems liking my body, especially my areas that carry the most weight, but today I actually felt allover cute! I know that liking and loving yourself can be hard, but it's a wonderful feeling to have, even if it's fleeting. I hope that you give yourself a hug and a smile today, okay?

Lastly, here's my April Favorites video! I hope you enjoy, and have a great day!!

MTAC 2015 Report & Haul!!

I'm back from this year's MTAC with only a bit of the con crud/post-con exhaustion. And I had fun!

2014 was pretty terrible. I didn't like any of the events, the venue was hot and crowded (yes, I know why we were there), and I just wanted to go home as soon as I got there. I wondered if maybe I was outgrowing anime conventions, or at least outgrowing MTAC. But this year was so much better, it really restored my faith. It was run by someone new this year, the guy who was actually president of my college anime club when I first joined, someone who really got me interested in anime and being in a social setting. Although my anxiety did spike a bit a few times during the con, I was able to keep it under check and really enjoyed myself!

This year, me and my fiance didn't get a hotel room to save on costs, but we probably will next year. When you have five or so hours in between panels you want to go to, and one of them is late at night, you realize how exhausted you are from the day and just want somewhere to sprawl out and nap.

So I was mostly with my fiance, my bestie Miraiina, and her husband this year, and Miraiina had never been to a con! So it was lots of fun to see how excited she was! The first day, we both twinned our lolita outfits! We wore Squirrel Party with similar wigs and accessories! I realize we never got any pictures of us together for ourselves, though other people took them. She looked way cuter then me :P

The first day we only stayed until about sundown. There were no panels we really wanted to go to, so we made it our shopping day! I have what I bought a bit lower down in the post. The second day I was feeling really hot so I didn't dress up. I helped my fiance with his panels and danced during the ParaPara Power Hour. The only other panel we went to was Religion in Anime, which was good but very basic. Next year's theme is "16 Bit" and I would love to do a video game panel, maybe on Animal Crossing, but I don't know what the point would be aside from, "This is Animal Crossing."

I guess now I'll get into what I bought or received~ The only thing I won't be talking about are the cans of coffee because...well, it's just a can of coffee.

I didn't have too much money going in but I did get a good bit, and then my fiance and bestie got me a few things!

I'll start with my favorite and biggest purchase, this giant, pink Yoshi! I'm proud of myself because while he was the first thing I saw, I bought him lastly just to make sure there was nothing else I wanted to spend that money on. I sleep cuddling him now!

Here is a size comparison! He really is big!

The other plushie I have was from my fiance! This adorable lavender (my favorite color!) sheep with a daisy (or egg XD) on its head. It's so fluffy. It also sleeps with me, usually above my head.

Next are two Yoshi keychains from a $3 bin. When did Yoshi become so important to me? I'm really glad I found him in his helicopter form from Yoshi's Island! They're both attached to my phone now.

Next is a sticker and some pins from NattoSoup! Miraiina got me the smaller pins! Unfortunately I think one of the gems from the big pin fell off when the pin fell off while I was dancing...

Lastly is something else the bestie got me, this cute Sailor Pluto figure!! This was something I was eyeing in the dealer room but decided against, so I'm very grateful that she bought this for me!

And I believe that's it! I have a touch of the con crud, so I haven't been doing much lately...I hope you all are doing well!!

Bonus, me at con with smeary smeary eyeliner under my eyes XD